Gentleman, Start your Engines . . . and Please turn off those Tire Illuminators

As you are driving over the river and through the woods to get to grandma’s for Thanksgiving dinner, imagine if you were to see these “innovations” on the cars around you.  That’s right, one more week of crazy car ideas that didn’t catch on.

First on the list is illuminated tires, which were introduced by Goodyear in 1961.  They were just what they sounded like – bulbs inside the wheel rim.  Although named by Life Magazine as one of the 30 dumbest inventions of all time (probably for safety reasons:  filling tires with glass may be a bad idea), I have to admit, they look kind of cool.  My guess is hip hop artists would go for these.  Plus, they apparently they can even light up the back of your legs.

Innovations in Automobiles

I’m thinking the tires are a better invention than that hat.

How about rear jump seats?  What could go wrong with backwards-facing seats in the back of a small pickup truck?  Apparently Subaru didn’t think anything, as they incorporated them into their Brat model (and what’s up with that name?  That may be the worst innovation of all).

Innovations in Automobiles

I’m pretty sure holding on to those handle bars will keep you safe in an accident.

Here’s one that the family pooch can be thankful that it didn’t catch on.  It’s called the dog sack.  Just hang on the window and insert dog.  This is perfect for those times that Fido wants to go with you, as we all know dogs love car rides, but you don’t necessarily want him in the car with you.  Might be a little difficult to park in a snug lot, though.

Innovations in Automobiles

What are the odds of getting the dog in the bag without getting bit?

Finally, there is the car bar, for those who can’t wait to get home from work to mix that cocktail.  The car bar fits nicely in the glove compartment, right next to your insurance and registration.  Cadillac introduced this in 1957, and it was fully magnetized, just in case you had a few too many and drove a little recklessly.

Innovations in Automobiles

Who could possibly think this is a good idea?